How Do You Get Under a Narcissist's Skin? Simple. Get Over Them.

Do You, Boo! :)

Friends, with each day I spend away from my narcissistic ex, the difference is like night and day. I’m starting to feel more like myself again, and my conviction to live a full life is growing stronger. I’m open to love and support from my friends, and my face isn’t as puffy from crying anymore. While the idea of revenge might sound sweet, every moment spent trying to get back at them only gives them more control. I write here because it is healing. and cathartic. I think I feel comfort by trying to offer support to others going similar pain.

I get that the urge to seek revenge on a narcissist is tempting, especially after all their manipulation. But trying to "get even" can backfire. Narcissists are experts at twisting things in their favor, escalating conflicts, and keeping themselves in control.

A healthier and more empowering way forward is to focus on your own healing and growth. The feelings are real, and it’s painful to have loved someone so selfish, someone who didn’t think twice about hurting you—but that’s who they are. Don’t let it change who you are. Instead, hold on to the important lessons. I know I could never treat anyone the way my ex treated me. So, the best way to truly get under your narcissist ex's skin is simple: focus on yourself, and live your life to the fullest.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection."

— Buddha

Now, as hard as it may be at the moment, try your best to practice the following:

1. No Contact or Limited Contact: If you can, cut off communication with the narcissist. This deprives them of the attention and emotional reactions they crave.

2. Maintain Emotional Distance: If you can’t completely cut off contact (like if you work together or share children), keep your emotions neutral. Don’t react to their provocations.

3. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem: Narcissists often tear down others’ confidence. It’s essential to rebuild your sense of self-worth and reestablish personal boundaries.

4. Live Well: Narcissists hate to see others thriving without them. Focusing on your happiness and success can be the most satisfying form of "revenge."

5. Legal Boundaries: If needed, take legal steps to protect yourself from manipulation, harassment, or abuse.

At the end of the day, your life is too valuable to waste on resentment, revenge, or missing out on the good things just because someone unworthy couldn’t see your worth. There are plenty of people who will see your value--and what's best you won't have to plead for it. So, as I try to take my own advice, let’s move on! Be happy! Indifference is the best payback.

Your Fellow Survivor,

eric swan, swan luxury goods, swan productions, graceful opulence